Why's Its To What's Its

“I don’t understand it any more than you do, but one thing I’ve learned is that you don’t have to understand things for them to be.” – Madeleine L’Engle, A Wrinkle In Time

Hello Dear Friend,

“Why is this happening to me?” Meg thought as her left foot pounded against the pavement followed by the right into a quickening run. “I don’t understand why this is always happening to me. Doesn’t anyone else ever have to deal with this crap? Why can I never seem to catch a break? Why is it always me? Why does it feel like whenever something good is finally happening for me, the shit hits the fan and everything falls apart?”

The questions kept rushing in her mind like waves crashing the shoreline. She could feel her heart race to the beat of every heavy step her feet took as they hit the asphalt. Where she was headed, she didn’t know and quite frankly, she didn’t care. Running was something she could do, something she could control that would help her to clear her head or at the very least exhaust her body out enough to distract her from the imploding thoughts that currently consumed her.

As her woe-is-me thoughts continued rolling around in her head she could feel her lungs begin to burn but she forced her tired legs to keep moving forward through the emotional and now self-inflicted physical pain.

As she was coming into town she slowed down a bit until she came to the little local coffee shop on the corner of 6th and main. The door was open and the strong, welcoming aroma of coffee was too much for her to resist. She stepped inside to grab a large iced latte and made pleasantries with the barista behind the counter. She thanked him as he handed her the cold brew and turned to leave when someone called out her name.

“Meg!”

Meg looked around until she saw the arms of someone waving wildly over their head to grab her attention, “Over here!” She smiled at the sight of the familiar face that belonged to her long-time friend as she headed towards the table she occupied.

“Hi!” Meg let the little word out only after a heavy sigh.

“Don’t you ‘hi’ me! Come here, give me a hug! I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages!” Her friend had stood up and embraced her in a big, bear-like hug before Meg had a chance to sit. She was rather surprised and slightly impress with herself that she somehow managed to hang on to her coffee without spilling a drop after the unexpected wild squeeze.

“Nadine, you’re squishing me.”

It was only after Nadine released her grip and locked in on her eyes that she asked, “Meg, what’s wrong?”

“Why do you assume that something’s wrong?” Meg asked defensively, finally taking a seat.

Nadine’s first response was the face she made before stating, “Um,… because I know you. Now what’s wrong?” she insisted that her friend share what was weighing on her heart and so Meg began to rely the past few hours to Nadine.

Nadine listened contently waiting for her friend to finish before sharing her thoughts and advice. “Maybe you should stop asking ‘why?’ and start asking ‘what?’”

The Focus Shift

“So many things have happened this year, but she will continue to take brave and faithful steps. She will continue to walk in the Light even though she has no idea what will happen yet." – Morgan Harper Nichols

I still remember being a teenager attending Youth Group at church one day when my Youth Pastor taught on changing your focus from a “Why me?” attitude, to a “What God?” attitude. We are so quick to feel sorry for ourselves and get buried in the woe-is-me depressing state of mind whenever things aren’t going exactly as we’d planned that we often miss out on what God is up to. Instead of focusing on the why of it all, start thinking about the – what of it all.

“What God? What are You doing? What do You want from me? What lesson are You teaching me in this? What do I need to learn? What do I need to do? What are You showing me?”

More often than I would like to admit, my thoughts have started out with the why of it all. But I’ve always carried that life lesson with me so it doesn’t take too long before my focus shifts from “Why?” to “What?” Some of my greatest blessings have come out of the weights of unhappiness. Some of the greatest parts of my story have come out of the “What” moments in my life.

Sometimes You Have To Be Unhappy

“If you aren’t unhappy sometimes you don’t know how to be happy." – Madeleine L’Engle, A Wrinkle In Time

I’ve had those days. You’ve had those days. We have all had those days when we’ve had to fight for some happiness. Just a moment, that’s all I need. I just need a little reminder, however fleeting, that there is a better life outside of my problem(s).

We have all had our fair share of struggles. Some of the struggles weigh us down more than others. We’ve all experienced some unhappiness at times. But there are countless moments scattered throughout the in-betweens of the struggles that we encounter and we can chose to seek and find happiness. In fact, I would even dare to say that if we would put some focus towards the pursuit of happiness we would find ourselves experiencing more joyful moments even in the thickness of the struggle journey. After all, without ever knowing what it feels like to be unhappy how could we ever know just how sweet happiness truly is? Unless you’ve experienced the former how can you expect to be able to first recognize and then fully appreciate the latter?

I like to think of my WHY life moments like spiritual growing pains. In turn I like to think of my WHAT life moments like spiritual growing spurts. You can’t have one without the other but by shifting your focus you start looking at all the ways you’re growing instead of focusing on the pain it’s taking to get to the next level God is moving you towards.

Look at the “Why(s)” that God has allowed in your life and start to question the “What(s)” that are found in the “Why” so that you can begin to fully experience all of the blessings God wants to give you. Begin to experience how sweet life can be when you’re willing to receive all of His goodness, all of His mercies and all of His grace that He wants to reveal to you even in the middle of your “Why to What” seasons.

With love,

a Poetic Soul