The Friendship Obituary

“You know that place between sleep and awake, that place where you can still remember dreaming? That’s where I’ll always love you. That’s where I’ll be waiting.” – James Barrie, Peter Pan

Hello Dear Friend,

It started out like any other summer day. Haden, Katie and their younger brother’s, Peter and Joey, sat on the front porch steps of Haden and Peter’s parent’s house. It was late morning and they had just come back from chasing the ice-cream truck on their bikes. Now, their bike lay where they had dropped them scattered in the Asher’s front yard as they sat under the shade of the huge Oak tree eating their popsicles and planning out the rest of the day.

They were just finishing up their sweet treat and had finally settled on their next mission. They would sneak past at least half a dozen house windows over to the garden where the sprinkler system currently sat. Then they’d snatch the sprinkler from the garden without being seen by their mother’s and move it over to the other side of the garage. There they could remain unseen by anyone in the house and have the pleasure of running through the sprinkler.

They’d just tossed the Popsicle sticks aside when they heard it. Peter’s eyes wide as he looked at the others. Joey raised the back of his hand to wipe away the purple watered down syrup that had dribbled down his chin. The barks were getting louder and louder and they all knew that Sully had escaped from the neighbor’s fenced in yard and that he was quickly headed their way.

The older kids snatched their packs as the four of them jumped away from the steps and took off as fast as their legs would carry them. They didn’t have time to think about grabbing their bikes and peddling away on the street. Instead they ran through the yard toward the back of the house running, running, running... past the little man made pond in the backyard, past the fire pit and the tree house, past the horse shoes they finally reached the edge of the property line.

“To the fort!” Haden yelled behind him to the others somewhere between the house and the fire pit.

Haden and Katie began racing through the trees in the wooded lot behind the Asher house as their younger brother’s ran after them. “Wait for us!” They yelled.

Haden and Katie glanced sideways at each other almost as if they were considering their siblings plea but laughed instead as they refused to slow down. “No! It’s not our fault you can’t keep up!” Katie replied.

Haden and Katie trampled through the small creek with only a few more yards ahead of them before they reached the sanctuary of the fort that the four of them had made the summer before. As they reached the fort they could hear their brothers splashing across the creek.

Haden claimed the most comfortable seat in the fort, an old chair with the stuffing falling out in a few places, as he pulled a canister filled with water from his backpack and put it to his lips. Katie quickly squatted down into the second best spot, an old sofa cushion, out of breath and motioning for the canister Haden was currently guzzling down. “You have your own.”

“I know,” heavy sigh and inhaling deeply, “but I’m too weak to look for it.”

Haden rolled his eyes but he handed the nearly half empty canister to her anyway as the their brothers came tumbling into the fort.

“Ooouuch!” Katie yelped as her younger brother, Joey, accidently stepped on her hand.

Joey made a face, “Sorry.”

“I… Can’t… Believe… You left us.” Haden’s brother, Peter forced out each word between deep inhales as he stood in the entrance of the fort bent over, with his head down and his hands on his knees as he tried to regain control of his breathing.

“He almost got us!” Joey said, as he sat down so close to Katie that he was almost in her lap.

Katie ran her hand over Joey’s head, shaking his lose curls around. “He did not. You’re exaggerating.”

“DID SO!” Peter argued.

Haden laughed, “He did not! We heard the barking stop before we even hit the tree line.”

Katie looked down at her brother. He did seem to have a slightly terrified look on his face. “Hey,” she nudged her arm into his, “You know if I thought you were in any kind of danger I would be there to take care of you right?”

Joey nodded, “Always and forever.” He whispered.

The other’s responded in loud unison, “Always and forever!”

Always & Forever?

As children we believe that there are some friendships and some ties that will live on forever. In our adolescent state we assume that nothing and no one could ever alter the bonds that we’ve made with others. But all too often it happens.

Have you ever had that feeling? It’s like you’ve lost someone, you’ve mourned and grieved and said your good-bye but they’re still alive? Physically the person remains roaming the earth perfectly healthy and living their best life but the connection between the two of you no longer exists.

I've had a several relationships in my life that have felt like that but there is one friend in particular that comes directly to mind. We’ve know each other pretty much since birth. Seriously, our parents were best friends before we were even born so one could even venture to say that we were destined to be soul mates. Like so many relationships things happened, we changed, then tragedy struck and since then our lives have gone their separate ways. Sadly, all that seems to be left of our friendship is its obituary.

Although, geographically we grew up states apart we had a deeper connection that went beyond your typical friendship, more like siblings or cousins. That relationship lasted until our early teens and then the tempest of the world began to hit. After the death of his father we began to drift apart. His dad’s passing created a void between our families and we were never the same after that. Suddenly without warning there was a link missing between us and with the loss of my dad’s best friend the relationships between the two families was never the same. Years continued to pass and although we stayed in touch, the more troubles that came to befall us planted a wall between the two of us. As time kept passing the walls grew larger, taller, wider, pushing us further apart.

“Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." – Dr. Seuss

It’s been over a decade now since we’ve had any form of contact. Still, I chose to remember those innocent kids. They get to stay in that ignorant bliss. Before any cruelties can befall them instead they remain with one hand reaching to cling on to their youth for just a little while longer. Minds free from the coming pains that would plague their young adult lives.

I choose to remember who we used to be and the simpler times that stem from adolescence. Back when we were two scrawny homeschooled kids who couldn’t wait until their next encounter. Those kids could pick up where they left off as if a day hadn’t passed between them even though geographically they were miles apart. No matter the adventure, I remember that little girl who would follow that little boy into all kinds of mischief and whose younger brother’s where never too far behind them.

There is a special place I keep in my heart for those two. It’s my own version of Neverland I suppose. It’s a place where hopes never fade and dreams never die, a place where they are free to roam untouched by the cares and discontent of this world. Free to just be. Free to hang out in the shadows of our dad’s as they chatted over endless games of horseshoes. Free to be those kids that chased after runaway lime green, bouncing tennis balls as their dad’s challenged each other in tennis matches.

Free to be those kids who rode bikes, played tennis, ran through sprinklers, went fishing, went swimming, jumped on a trampoline, watched movies, hung out in the basement playing pool, ate popsicles and ice-cream, enjoyed numerous cookouts, bonded over raking up leaves and told stories around campfires while roasting marshmallows. Free to venture among the trees and ride natures water slides. Free to hike, free to explore this earth at the age of innocent with curious minds. Free to grow. Free to learn. Free to dream.

With love,

a Poetic Soul